The Lie of "My Body, My Choice"
The lie of absolute body ownership and unaccountable choice obfuscates the true value of life.
Let’s nitpick terminology. Let’s play with semantics. Though let us not shred verbiage for the sake of destruction but to reframe an accepted mindset commonly addressed in the specific. Set the anecdotal aside and reexamine the oft screeched invective, “My body, my choice.”
For a long while, the intent on insisting ownership over the body was to assert that no one could tell anyone else what to do with their physical form. No one could force someone to go somewhere against their will. No one could force someone to have a procedure they didn’t want. Someone could have multiple piercings. Someone could mural their skin with needle and ink. And someone could take any measure to undo the outcome of a rather ill-advised decision because the body has an owner with absolute jurisdiction.
The slogan was taken up, albeit on a different decibel, by those who insist that putting anything into the body should be a personal choice, and no one could mandate otherwise. “My body, my choice” means no one can tell me what I can do with my body, and no one can tell me what to inject into my body. It’s mine, so only I get to choose about any of this. Or so this lie wants us to believe.
Whatever the merits or pitfalls of either side, neither of these staunchly held positions pinpoint the singular question encasing the truth at the heart of this mantra. And for good reason too. It’s esoteric, philosophical, and, quite frankly, something only a wholly honest person would dare to confront.
Specifically, you insist this body is yours, well, what did you do to procure it? What act or transaction on your end gave you full possession of the form you presently inhabit, possession which allows you to treat it as you please?
The truth of the “my” insisting ownership of the body has been previously addressed in an essay on the true self, but the combination of “my body, my choice” presents a new angle for discussion. In a relatively free society, there is an instinctual understanding that a body belongs to the self inhabiting it, which is why certain actions which steal, use, or break a body with or without permission are so inherently heinous. Thus, beginning with the concession that this body is yours, can you explain how it came to be so?
There is no moment when self procures the physical form. The body is created by the parents, and the soul, life itself, exhaled from Above. Whatever the particulars of the intangible, whatever instant the body receives its incorporeal self, there is no denying that a body does not arbitrarily create itself. Which is also part of why the egregious claim of “it’s my life” is so misguided, as there is no procurement there either. Yet, there is an act which precipitates the physical formation of a body, committed by others who do not gain ultimate possession. Though some may try, there is no getting around that much about another body is simply beyond an other’s control. Moreover, it’s usually agreed that a person intending to inflict harm upon the body should be persuaded otherwise, despite the choice we seem to agree is his.
When a child comes into being, there’s some point when the body becomes his, never mind that he did not procure or create himself, nor did he choose to be formed at all. Thus, a chink in “my body, my choice,” absolutism. From the moment of conception something else causes the body to be created without consent, something else sustains and nourishes it throughout formation, something which does not own what it’s created.
Throughout the initial stages of becoming an individual entity, a new form cannot sustain itself. It must be carefully and continually cared for, taught and guided, until it’s eventually weaned from its physical dependency upon others. Is the moment of birth also the magic transference of ownership, is that when the self becomes the single owner of the form it didn’t choose to create? Or does it only happen later, when it can walk, talk, eat, work on its own? Considering the time invested by others in the early years of life, whose body is it really?
Governments and laws pick an age when the body is judged to be wholly belonging to the one who lives in it, but these various stages and conditions are mainly legalese. Necessary, but broadly decided. Legal ages operate independent of physical stages, in that they don’t always correlate with the body’s or brain’s patterns of growth. To say, the law agrees with some measure of bodily autonomy, but does not pinpoint the exact moment when this body becomes mine, and thereby entirely subject to my choices. Two? Twelve? Eighteen? Twenty-one? Perhaps. Does this not also reflect the sentiment that though you may own a body, you’re not always allowed to make decisions for it? Does this not infringe upon the claim of complete ownership?
So, again, if this body is yours, as is generally agreed, then how did it come to be so? What moment, transaction, action, gesture gave it to you?
Perhaps it’s because “my” refers to the real you deep inside, though how you came into your tangible form cannot fully be explained in only physical terms. Perhaps this body is yours because, assuming their place in the circle of life, parents gift a body to their child, the future, in the moment of creation. Or does it happen later than that?
The imagery of a gift is a wonderful sentiment, but such terminology shoves open the doors to many other questions. Are parents hypocrites if they choose to take back the body before the child is born? If they regret the gift however many years down the line, can they retrieve it then? What if they don’t like the body they’ve formed? At what point is the gift complete, birth, viability, somewhere in between? Maybe the gift is given each day the parents care for the child, and the child only achieves full ownership when out on his own. What, exactly, are the parameters of this gift? What does it mean about the value of life itself if these questions cannot be instantly and universally answered?
For lack of better descriptor, let’s say parents do gift a body to the child they’ve created, cared for, and raised, most of which happens independent of the supposed owner’s choice. What is the subsequent responsibility to this gift you’ve been given? Do you have full autonomy to care or crash as desired? Even when we recognize full ownership of a gift, most still agree there are gradations of care that could, and should, be employed for something immeasurably precious. There’s also the undeniable fact that it’s a one-time, irreplaceable gift. Sure, some parts could be switched out for plastic imitations, but despite expert craftsmanship, they’re neither real nor original.
The lie of “my body, my choice” includes the denial of the before and after of the form you occupy, that you may not have as extensive an ownership as you’ve been persuaded to believe. Moreover, it ignores what this framing of absolute decision-making without accountability does to society’s perception and value of life and the bodies which carry it.
The most pressing challenge in this case of ownership is that this body, which is said to be wholly, truly yours, does not accompany you when you go. It does not address at all what becomes of what was yours when you’re gone, often against your will. If the body has to stay, if it decomposes despite what you may choose, is it still entirely yours? Do you really have sole ownership of this form you’ve been given, when you don’t have full say over when it comes into being or what becomes of it after? How can your tangible form ever be separated from the inner you if it’s also you?
Whether or not you accept, and embrace, the true Force that’s given you life, inarguable facts point to a less absolute, even dual claim of ownership. Between one person and another, we recognize that each individual is the owner of the form their self occupies. Neither the government nor your closest friend is in a position to negate that. That’s why a trespass upon someone without consent is to be rejected, punished, and reviled.
All considered, perhaps we’re less absolute owners of our forms and more lifetime renters, for the simple fact that a renter has many responsibilities of care, but does not get to keep forever. The self, which you did not either procure or create, did not choose this body and the self will leave this body behind. You may reject the entire notion with a claim that a body is irrelevant after the self passes on, but everyone instinctually knows that a body without life should be treated with respect for the self it once housed.
To say, there is something important and to be respected about this form you inhabit. Is this only true at birth and after death? Too often this import and respect are forgotten during the life lived in between.
The lie of “my and my” has us thinking upon entirely different, superficial lines. It would have us ignore the very real question of this body which I possess though I did not create or procure it, what is it mine to do with? Revere? Ignore? Mutilate? Plasticize? Joy ride through life? If this body belongs to “my” and “my” is the real self, then what would the self want for the body? How would it treat the form it inhabits if the static of lies and coarse materiality didn’t get in the way?
Things happen to the body which contradict the desire of the self, things like allergies, pain levels, recovery times, aging, and other natural effects of life whose impact infringes upon the self. This would also indicate that we only own the body up to a certain point.
This would also indicate it’s more likely we’ve been entrusted with a body for the duration of our time on earth, and, as with a rental, while there is room for standard wear and scratch and dents, the overall form is expected to be used as per its purpose then returned as best as possible considering your pre-programmed design and life journey.
Which is also to say that while you may occupy this body for a time, and while you will be the sole occupant of this body ever, it may not be as entirely yours as you’ve been led to believe. Which is to say there is a true Owner who’s shared this form with you, and like most owners, He’ll probably be expecting an accounting of use when your time here is done. Does the lie of “my body, my choice” address such a searing, fundamental truth? Does it dare consider to peek past the physical self?
How much is this body really yours, and how much choice do you really have considering you’ll have to answer for how you use it? Can you truly see the choices you have in regard to your gift, in regard to the gift you may give to another, in the same way that movements and votes and society would have you perceive them? Absent of responsibility. Absent of accountability. Absent of absolute autonomy.
“My body, my choice” should focus on the preciousness of the gift we’ve been given, and the responsibility we have to use it with care and respect as intended. It’s my body for this journey through life, and it’s my choice to choose the fulfilling path of embracing that or risk the likely emptiness which comes from rejecting its true purpose. Adjusting this mindset would entirely shift our perspective of the true value of life. And that would be a choice of mine well worth making.